Why You Must Avoid Burnout at All Costs
Your job is really not worth dying for
It all seemed to be going well — our new site generated immediate profit, there were new contracts on offer to expand and our turn over was pushing £70,000 a month. Conservative projections would see us tip over £200,000 per month within Q4 of 2019. We were expanding rapidly. We were onto something.
Then, two startups and four years of relentless intensity fell into a black hole in the blink of an eye. I was doing too much, running three sites across the whole of London was a logistical and physical nightmare. Employing 30 people and all the HR responsibility that came with that was exhausting. Margins were tight. We were two years old, not quite breaking even across all sites, the model was still being polished. Then out of nothing, the major investors pulled out, after a disagreement about our expansion.
It got personal. Day after day saw me up at 5am and in bed at midnight. Far too many double espressos, zero exercise and zero meditation. I was running to stand still. I was running on vapours. Oh yes, I had a newborn baby daughter too. I would have a small panic attack with every email and text that came my way. I was in a vortex of negativity and hostility. Vultures coming in for the kill. I’d lost all my fight, all my energy and all my zest for life. I was flat-lining. A walking zombie, immune to touch and taste. Irritated and overwhelmed by sounds and busy high streets.
I had a moment of clarity as things came to an end in the autumn of 2019. After finishing a call to insolvency practitioners about the extensive legal requirements of liquidating a company, I thought, it will soon be over, it will all melt away. I was entitled to a redundancy package. But, it was just enough to pay for the company's liquidation and ensure all my employees received their support and final payments. There was nothing left.
What was once a dream and entrepreneurial vision became an expensive and hurtful nightmare. Sat on minus zero in the bank, I took the brave step to move to Spain, to a place I knew well. With the help and generosity of two good friends, I was able to get my new family to what was to be my personal rehabilitation.
Securing the money to get to Spain happened on a rainy September morning. The simple but life-changing text read, “sure, you’re my good friend. You’ve done so much for me.” I remember sliding to the floor, my eyes welling up with tears. People walked past, oblivious to my life-changing moment. I stayed in that position for at least 30 minutes as the rain-soaked me, and I processed the last few rollercoaster months. I’d reached the bottom. The only way was up.
I chose Spain because my overheads were halved and my money got me twice as much living space. A massive beautiful 3 bedroom villa with manicured grounds and a pool was the perfect haven. It took time to recover. Ironically, when the global pandemic hit in March 2020, lockdown helped me continue my recovery.
Here’s how I did it. It’s a personal journey and hopefully will resonate with those who have pushed themselves through the red zone and beyond.
Learn the art of sleeping like a baby.
My partner had brilliantly researched how to get our new baby to sleep for 12 hours straight. A combination of observing sleep signals, promoting sleep and a rigorous bedtime routine meant my new daughter slept like a baby. This allowed me to do the same.
Instead of killing hours at the end of the day watching TV or being online, I went to bed, sometimes at 7pm. It was so quiet in our new home in Spain. I was sleeping as if in a crypt. Sleep became sacred. I always ate my last meal early and had a deep warm bath to finish the day. Avoiding screens and excessive noise, meant my mind would naturally unwind. By the time it came to sinking back into our kingsize bed, I was already half-asleep.
I will always credit sleep as being the main reason I recovered so quickly. As The Mental Health Foundation explain,“sleep is as important to our health as eating, drinking and breathing. It allows our bodies to repair themselves and our brains to consolidate our memories and process information. Poor sleep is linked to physical problems such as a weakened immune system and mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.”
Start sipping sleepy tea, instead of party time cocktails.
I loved red wine, it felt like my only pleasure, but it wasn’t helping. Alcohol is a depressant and while my mood was low, it was the last thing I needed. Not only would it disrupt my sleep, but it would increase my feeling of low motivation and sadness. So, a nighttime tea replaced my often large and many glasses of red wine. I’d sip my tea and stretch my major muscle groups to remove physical tension. After this, I’d meditate for as long as I could stay awake. This became my new ritual and it’s one I still follow.
Without good sleep, nothing good will happen in life. So, it’s worth making sacrifices like eliminating your evening glass of wine. “Regularly drinking alcohol can disrupt sleep. For example, a heavy drinking session of more than six units in an evening, can make us spend more time in deep sleep and less time than usual in the important Rapid Eye Movement (REM) stage of sleep, which is an important restorative stage of sleep our bodies need.”
Trust that everything is temporary, the bad will not last forever.
Although my sleep had drastically improved, I wasn’t waking up energised. I woke up dead and numb. Day after day, my head was a thick fog. The bright October sunshine felt hot on my face, I’d sit for an hour from 10–11am, often nodding off to sleep. But, I didn’t fight it. I knew, sooner or later, my body, on a deep cellular level, would recover. I trusted myself to do the right thing. My body and mind needed to sleep.
Gabriela Cora, MD, managing partner of the Florida Neuroscience Center and a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology explains, “Although fatigue on its own isn’t necessarily a symptom of depression, if fatigue lingers and is accompanied by low mood and decreased motivation or interest, this lack of energy may be tied to early signs of depression.”
So, there’s no point in fighting fatigue. Let your body recover and remind yourself of how transient everything is in life. Unfortunately, the good times don’t last forever, but neither do the challenging times. Breathe through the numbness, and don’t fight the sleep your body and mind so clearly need.
Climb a mountain. Literally.
All my life I’ve been super fit and healthy. However, during the four years preceding my burnout and the collapse of my businesses, my health had suffered. I’d put my dream of creating an empire before my own wellbeing. It was easy to do. Not paying attention to my health became a way of life.
But, it was now time to change. There was a mountain close to where we lived, and a mile-long gravel road leading up to it at about 10–12% incline. Four years ago, I raced up it in under 10 minutes. After burnout, this was impossible. My fitness levels had plummeted.
The day was yet again a blue sky and warm sun. As I walked down to the ocean, I saw a guy around my age huffing and puffing slowly past me on his way to the top. I thought I’ll never struggle like that. How wrong I was. I stopped 9 times in total, and the run which had once taken me 10 minutes, took 32 minutes. By the time I reached the summit, I realised how unfit I was and how much I’d let myself go. I sat on the curbside and recalled my previous super fit self. It was time to act. But, I had to act with patience and create a long and progressive wellness plan which would last forever.
So, I walked every day with my daughter in her pushchair for two hours. The undulating terrain made it feel like a low-level workout. I started running twice a week for 30 minutes on the flat. I did timed intervals of walking and running. Each session saw a slither of progression. I gave myself 3 months to conquer the mountain. I stretched every morning and did a bodyweight workout every other day.
Every day I did something towards the greater good of my health. And after six weeks, it still felt like I had a perspex block of resin dropped into my head. I could see the world, but I couldn’t react, my head felt heavy, my eyes still closed often and would remain closed as sleep took over. However, I had taken the first step, I had begun to climb the mountain, it was only a matter of time.
Plough the field. Be the farmer. Your food should be as natural as possible.
To feel better, I knew I’d need to work from the inside out. Healing the body through nutrition wasn’t rocket science, but it was necessary. My challenge was to undo all the deeply ingrained habits of the last few years.
“A 2017 study found that the symptoms of people with moderate-to-severe depression improved when they received nutritional counseling sessions and ate a more healthful diet for 12 weeks. The improved diet focused on fresh and whole foods that are high in nutrients. It also limited processed refined foods, sweets, and fried food, including junk food.”
The way forward was highly nutritious, fresh food. The reward of feeling energised, positive and a few pounds lighter made it easy to change. I eliminated all things processed. Everything I ate was as natural as I could get my hands on. My only carbohydrates were oats, basmati brown rice and quinoa. My proteins were fish, occasional poultry. Lentils and chickpeas. Until I was 100% better, I let go of the idea that meals were a social occasion. Food was fuel.
Takeaway
The turnaround in my energy and overall wellbeing was amazing. It took 6 months but I’ll always remember the day I woke up and felt normal for the first time in over four years. It was mid-December and the sun shone. After a breakfast of porridge and an espresso, I set off for my 30 minute flat run. I had not completed the 5k loop around the manicured golf courses in one go yet. Today was the day. The slight incline of the last kilometre pushed me, but still, I managed to push on and run it all.
It was a small victory in a long game. Two months later, I finally ran up the mountain without stopping. With no-one around, I punched the air and whooped loudly. I was back. Gradually, the idea of work and connecting with people again became a reality. I still felt a million miles from the last four years as a swashbuckling entrepreneur, but the seeds of recovery were sewn.
By focusing on high-quality sleep, eliminating alcohol, starting to exercise, eating simply, being patient, and trusting the process, you can, over time, recover from huge failure. Whether your business has collapsed, a long-term relationship has ended or you’ve become unemployed, while you may not control the world you live in, you can control how you respond to it.
You can feel positive again, solid in your core and inner foundation, calm and in control. You may feel you’ll never recover, but in time you will.